CHANGES IN FATHER'S ROLE

The images of masculinity has been changing. Asserting father's role, as a case in point, has been increasingly not as rigid as in the past. Gone are those days when men are expected not to be condescending to women. Gone are those days when the epitome of masculinity are the likes of Clint Eastwood and Sylvestre(Rambo)Stallone, men, whose movie roles portray machismo (and others must give-in). More films are now showing men's sensitivity and vulnerability. Today, we see more men who are doing childcare and housework... and to see a picture of men tenderly holding a baby is not a laughing-stock anymore.( Pls. check photo on http://www.snopes.com/photos/military/gebhardt.asp) Instead, other men admire them and women praise them. Matter of fact, the term 'houseband','dad-mom', or 'Mr. Mom' is becoming a common household lingo.

Some of the reasons of this change are the following:

1) Women are equally educated as men and are important players in the labor force. Many wives are becoming very successful in the work place that they even are getting more income than their spouses. More are even becoming heads-of-the-state, nowadays. I can never forget the time when the current Philippine commander-in-chief, Pres. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. Filipinos were led by men, even before they got their independence from the U.S. Hence, when Macapagal-Arroyo was confirmed to take over as the president, many Filipinos were not comfortable calling the president's husband as the 'First Gentleman'. People got used to having a 'First Lady' in Malacanang Palace.
2) The socio-economic status (SES)of women and the rising cost of living have allowed many married couples to decide, who is to stay with the children. Obviously, the one who takes less dough has to stay home.
3) The changing pattern of family, i.e. same-sex intimacy and legality, has been incresingly common, nowadays. (In fact, effective tomorrow, June 15, the state of California can legally issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples.) Whoever takes the father's role and the portrayal of such role in the eyes of the children, adopted or not, are of my keen interest as a researcher.
4) Another reason, which I am part of it, is due to a necessity.

My case was quite unique. I have to do the woman's job, because I have to save the life of a 4-month old boy. I was newly engaged that time when an outbreak of a cholera epidemic, in a tribal village where I worked, occured. Knowing that the baby would be killed by the uncles (and buried with the mom) the following day, I have to step in to save him. It was a difficult decision. My village role became confusing, not only to the villagers, but also to me. My role as a missionary-teacher and a researcher overlapped with my role to keep the baby alive in this remote village, where canned milk was scarcely available. I faced jeers and sneers from the tribesmen. However, I persevered. I walked my talk. I educated the whole tribe, even those from far away hamlets, by showing them how to nourish a malnourished baby, without the mother's milk. A couple of months later, I saw lots of changes to the villagers belief and practices. Men started helping their wives in bathing their kids and even picking leafy vegetables in the wild. My new role, and a monicker, as a jungle dad-mom was accepted and praised by almost everybody. God allowed me to save this 4-month old baby boy, to let the husbands realize that mutual cooperation, and not a clear-cut division of labor among spouses, is much more healthier and happier to raise a family. (Note: You can read more of my life with the Ata Manobo tribe in southern Philippines, including the saving of the baby, in my book, KOILAWAN.)

So, for all of us, dad, houseband, dad-mom, Mr. Mom, or whatever... HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.